Fox News and MSNBC

Everyone does at least one thing regularly that makes him seem insane. For instance, some people collect toenail clippings, some people use an umbrella in the shower, and some people watch Fox News or MSNBC. If you watch Fox News or MSNBC, that doesn’t mean you’re interested in politics. That means you’ve accepted a complete life philosophy that can be summed up in two words: “fuck liberals” or “fuck conservatives.” That’s the bottom line. That’s why you watch those channels. It’s either that, or you want to stare at Megyn Kelly for three hours a day.

Can someone please explain to me why the women on Fox News are so attractive? I guess millions of people like having these two thoughts back to back. “This woman is so hot, that I want to have interourse with my television! Furthermore, Barack Hussein Obama must be impeached immediately!” If you know someone who watches Fox News, you can make two assumptions about him: one, he’s a Republican; and two, he’s had sex with his television. Or she’s had sex with her television. I don’t care how much of a heterosexual a woman is–if she watches Fox News, she’ll be attracted to the women on it. Which is ironic. A woman will think, “I’m against same sex marriage–except, I think I’m in love with Megyn Kelly.”

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